What price love?

Beatles may have said ‘money can’t buy me love’, but plenty of Australians will give it a good shot on Valentine’s Day. Roy Morgan research estimates Australians will fork out $415 million on Valentine’s Day gifts this year, with flowers, chocolates and jewellery being the most popular items[1]. 

However, the same survey suggests Aussies may not be such a romantic bunch after all. Only one in four men, and just one in ten women bother buying Valentine’s Day gifts.

That’s not to say we don’t crave love and companionship. The burgeoning online dating industry is testament to that. A YouGov survey found as many as one in three Australians have used internet and online dating apps[2]. This rises to one in two millennials. But while some users have found a life partner via online dating, others have lost their life savings.

Crooks could be holding the bow of Cupid’s arrow

Scammers also use dating apps to find people seeking connection. They know that with the right encouragement they can fleece people of money. And they’re good at what they do. Australians lost $131 million to dating and romance scams in 2020[3] – a figure believed to be the tip of the iceberg as plenty of victims are too embarrassed to come forward.

While it’s easy to assume older Australians are more likely to fall prey to romance scams,  CrimeStoppers says almost half of all losses come from people under the age of 35 – our most tech-savvy generation. And overall, victims are evenly spread between men and women.

In a recent speech, Mike Burgess, Director-General of ASIO, pointed to a new threat from dating apps.  It turns out ASIO is tracking suspicious approaches on dating platforms such as Tinder, Bumble and Hinge, because foreign spies are using these apps to elicit sensitive information – and they’re not looking for details about which flowers or chocolates their victims prefer.

Burgess says his message for using dating sites is a familiar one – if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.  But it’s no longer that simple.

Why we fall for romance scams

Australia is among the top four countries in the world being targeted by international scammers according to victim support service IDCARE[4].  It looked into why we’re so ripe for the picking, and found some common threads.

First, we’re an affluent nation. That obviously makes us attractive to scammers. But IDCARE also notes that one of our cultural virtues is trust in each another. And sadly, that’s what scammers prey on.

What’s interesting is that scammers don’t hand select their victims – not initially at least. IDCARE says scamming is simply a numbers game. If over a million attempts are made each month, with a 1% success rate that rakes in an average of $10,000 per victim, then these groups can be netting over $100 million a month.

One key step could help protect you

Most people I’ve spoken to who use online dating apps know the basics of how to avoid being scammed:

• Always consider that an approach may be a scam, particularly if there are warning signs.
• Do an online image search of your admirer to see if they really are who they say they are.
• If you agree to meet a prospective date in person, tell family or friends where you are going.
• Let the warning bells start clanging if money is mentioned. It may be request for cash, encouragement to pursue a ‘hot’ investment, or you could be asked to transfer money for someone else, which is likely to be money laundering – a criminal offence.

IDCARE analysis revealed another important way to protect yourself. It found scammers love it when a person is directly engaged with the scammer without interference from anyone else. This is why a scammer may send a message asking if you’re alone.

‘Anyone else’ can be friends or family, who could interfere with the scammers deception because they aren’t as invested in what the victim sees as a budding relationship. Without the rose coloured glasses of romance, they can help a prospective victim see what’s really going on before money starts changing hands.

This highlights the value of talking to a trusted friend or relative about a budding online relationship – especially if your gut instinct suggests all is not right. It could be the light bulb moment that brings you back to reality.

Yes, it can be heartbreaking to discover that a person you thought you’d formed a romantic connection with is little more than a cyber-crook. But at least it will spare you the pain of a shattered bank account.