Stargazer harnesses upsurge in energy to power her way to the top

Doreen's hypothetical portfolio of 10 stocks soared 9.5 per cent in a week, a gain of 14.5 per cent in a month. That's an annualised return of 173 per cent, showing what a good rub of the crystal ball can do.

After all, the market could be bothered only with a six-point gain over the four-week race.

She was even weighed down by the four banks, which, like the market, did nothing.

It just goes to show what having the two best stocks can do: Metgasco, a coal-seam gas explorer that was suspended on the last day because it's about to do a placement, and Solimar Energy, an oil and gas producer.

Although toppled from the top at the last minute, Qaiser Malik still gained 1.8 per cent over the week as the gold price surged and Alacer Gold and St Barbara regained their glitter. Chartist Richard Pritchard was the second best performer of the week, almost out-dazing Doreen, with a 9.1 per cent surge.

Behind him and, um, the dartboard was yours truly despite, you'll note, beating the market.

Accustomed to me being in this position, loyal readers, when I meet them, ask me - with the best of intentions, of course - if I deliberately throw the race to impart extra excitement.

Sorry, I'm just a lousy stock picker in a market that can't decide whether it's coming or going.

A new race starts next Sunday.