Economist and former Julia Gillard adviser Stephen "The Kouk" Koukoulas has put in for dummy spit of the year with a magnificent Twitter spray against ousted PM Kevin Rudd on election night.
The coveted dummy spit trophy looked to have been sewn up by iSelect spokesman Matthew Cuming, who last week issued a three-page screed complaining about media coverage of the insurance comparison website's dud float. But while Cuming's effort was comprehensive and agreeably passive aggressive, it lacked the sheer aggression displayed by Koukoulas.
Koukoulas was tweeting as Rudd gave a long concession speech to a cheering crowd who at times seemed unaware that the Labor Party had been flogged and Liberal leader Tony Abbott was to be Australia's next prime minister.
"Time now for Rudd to leave politics," the Kouk began. "A poisonous man who takes all the credit for Abbott's win. I assume Abbott will thank Rudd first."
But he was just getting warmed up. "Come on Kevin. Just leave gracefully," Koukoulas tweeted as Rudd continued.
"Flush. What a dreadful man. Go away forever.
"Well done Kevin. Better to have an Abbott govt than [Julia] Gillard govt. Wow. What. Great loss yay. Yay. Yay. Go shitbag.
"What a delirious loss. Yay. We lost by 30. A truly marvellous result. How delirious is this clown. What if he had won. Yay [Rudd adviser] Bruce Hawker. A 30 seat loss. Great stuff.
"Does Rudd realise he has lost?
"Great campaign Bruce Hawker. The James Hird of Labor.
"What an absolute shit show. Go Kevin. Bye. Loser. Spoiler. Snake."
At the end of the spray Koukoulas went on to complain: "Gosh many rude people on Twitter."
Banking on future
It's the bank building with no bank in it. Signage proclaiming the presence of Ian Narev's Commonwealth Bank adorns the top of the office block at 747 Collins Street, in Melbourne's Docklands wasteland.
Take that, competitors NAB and ANZ, which have buildings across the road - the CBA is clearly here to stay.
Only problem is, most of the building is actually occupied by the Tax Office. The CBA is absent; it doesn't even have a branch there. So no luck for any little old lady wandering the wind-blasted boulevards of Docklands, looking for a CBA financial adviser who can tip her life savings into risky investments.
A CBA spokesman said the bank would occupy commercial space in the building by late September or early October, with a branch to come "soon".
Four weigh in
Four bidders are circling the slimmed-down weight loss empire run by chemist Tony Ferguson and Barry Smorgon.
Ferguson and Smorgon put Tony Ferguson Weight Loss into administration last month with the enterprise's biggest creditor, Smorgon's manufacturing business Jalco Group, believed to be owed $7 million.
An expressions-of-interest campaign run by the administrator, "Silent" Adam Farnsworth, closed on Friday with four hats in the ring. CBD doesn't know the identities of the bidders and how much they're prepared to pay, but as previously reported it's believed Farnsworth's info memo portrays the business as capable of earning $30 million a year.
It's believed Farnsworth has until September 24 to sell the business or it will be returned to Ferguson and Smorgon under a deed of company arrangement.
Where did I put it?
Perth Glory owner Tony Sage appears to have mislaid $80 million.
The money was supposed to be paid into an escrow account by Metallurgical Corporation of China, while an arbitrator in Singapore sorts out a stoush with Sage's Cape Lambert Resources.
However, on Friday Cape Lambert admitted the money had yet to arrive due to "disputes between the parties as to the details of the bank account".