Meagen surfaces with a smile after a painful past

Ms Nay, 21, of Sherwood, west of Brisbane, was three when her famous father, Robbie, was killed in a car accident just north of the Gold Coast in 1992.

Robbie Nay was only 15 when he competed at the 1972 Munich Olympics. Two years later he won a relay gold medal at the Commonwealth Games in Christchurch and missed a bronze medal in the 200-metre freestyle final by just 0.01 of a second.

His life went off the tracks shortly after that when he became a heroin addict and, in 1978, pleaded guilty to possessing and using the drug.

At 22, he underwent drug rehabilitation and in 1980 beat surf lifesaving legend Grant Kenny at the Queensland titles. In 1982, he won the open Iron Man event at Coogee.

Last July - the day before Ms Nay was due to swim at the world championships in Rome - her much-loved brother Amos, 28, was killed in a car accident near Tweed Heads, not far from where her father died.

After much angst, she competed in the heats of the 4 x 100-metre freestyle relay before being overcome with grief and leaving the next day for Australia.

She will turn 22 on October 5, when she will be competing at the Commonwealth Games, to be held in Delhi, India, in October.

"It was my brother's birthday on March 18, which was the third day into the [Commonwealth Games trials] meet, and I had the 100-backstroke final and it was pretty emotional trying to get up for that," she said. But she came second and secured a place in the team.

Ms Nay, who holds the Australian 200 metres backstroke record, grew up on the Gold Coast and her mother, Karin, lives in Labrador.

They relived painful memories while taking part in filming for tomorrow night's Australian Story on ABC television.

"I was pretty close with my brother," Ms Nay said. "I used to sneak into his bed at night. I'd never sleep on the door side 'cause I thought someone was going to come get me, so I was, like, 'They can get you instead of getting me first.'

"The hardest, I think, was Father's Day; I used to hate that at school. In primary school you had to make fathers' gifts and that was probably the hardest thing ... "

She described the emotions she endured before deciding to swim in Rome after hearing of her brother's death: "It's probably the hardest mental thing I've ever had to do ... I walked onto the pool deck and nothing fazed me, I couldn't really care if my suit broke or my goggles broke. It was just get in and swim."

She was mindful that she was representing Australia and wanted to help her teammates make it to the finals. They won the bronze medal.

After the race she "went down to the change rooms and I just sat under the shower for about 15 minutes. When it hits you, it hits you. I couldn't even remember the last time I spoke to him, and little things like that I started thinking about, and I just lost it."

But, on reflection, she is glad she raced. "It was probably the best decision I made; I'm really glad that I swam in the heat," she said.

"I think the past is the past and I'm looking forward to the future and looking forward to doing something in swimming and being remembered for something in swimming, not just for what has happened. I want to make my dad and my brother proud, pretty much," she told Fairfax Media last month.

She trains with Stephanie Rice (who introduces tomorrow's Australian Story) at the St Peter's Western Swimming Club at Indooroopilly under coach Michael Bohl.

Yesterday she swam at the grand prix meeting at Sydney Olympic Park Aquatic Centre, coming second in the 200-metre backstroke event. She will compete at the Pan Pacific championships in California in August.

Australian Story airs on ABC1 at 8pm tomorrow.