BENIGN TO FIVE

I worry about people who ask "Have you ever Googled your own name?"

What a preposterous question. Of course you have. Of course I have. Of course they have. Of course everyone with a computer and an internet connection has.

And employers are doing the same thing - Googling your name after shortlisting you for a job you've applied for. How do we take advantage of this knowledge?

Writing your own Wikipedia entry is unethical, inappropriate, obnoxious and against Wikipedia guidelines. Here's how you do it.

Wikipedia doesn't like unfounded claims or citation-free assertions. If you don't have any reference material to work with, if you haven't done multiple interviews with major news outlets (poor effort), you'll need to get someone to write and publish your biography. Easy.

Next, layout. A good guide is other people's Wikipedia pages. I recommend Otto von Bismarck, Barbara Cartland and Ayrton Senna. You'll find index headings that are pretty well universally applicable. Here are some of the most useful: 1. Early life 2. Education 3. European sojourn 4. Rise to power 5. Assassination attempt 6. Decorations and honours 7. Body of work 8. Political views 9. Claims of corruption and embezzlement 10. Personal life.

Now, the writing. Don't let modesty stand in the way of brutal honesty. Include phrases like "brightest star in the [your area] firmament" and "Australia's best-known [your vocation]".

I'd direct you to mine but apparently Wikipedia had to take it down because the number of visitors was clogging the internet.

Jonathan Rivett survived an assassination attempt and now blogs at haught.com.au