Too many predictions spoil the winning broth

IT'S the best thing since sliced bread, MasterChef. It's hotter than Gordon Ramsay's temper. And sex drive. So the psychic running Murdoch's Daily Telegraph website in Sydney should have known better than to declare at 8.57pm on Sunday that Poh beat Julie with the headline "Poh wins MasterChef Australia" (right). Two things: the final was still screening at 8.57pm and Julie was crowned closer to 9.30pm. In cooking-show tradition, the story by TV editor Erin McWhirter was based on interviews she "prepared earlier" with the help of Channel Ten. Poh Ling Yeow was "stunned" by the verdict (she wasn't the only one) and said: "This is really a surreal feeling." Surreal! Julie Goodwin got a word in, with the story saying: "Disappointed but humble, Goodwin praised her feisty opponent." Over to Julie: "Poh's a very deserving winner. I'm proud of her, she's a good friend and I wish her every success in the world." Then at 9.42pm, the tabloid declared: "Due to a technical error we incorrectly named Poh Ling Yeow for a brief time. The Daily Telegraph apologises for the error." In the period BMC - Before MasterChef - a famous "oops" headline was the Chicago Daily Tribune's screamer in 1948 that "Dewey defeats Truman" in the presidential race but Thomas Dewey did not defeat Harry S. Truman. Then came Rupert's Sunday Hun shouting "Hewson in photo finish" in 1993 but John Hewson lost the unlosable election to Paul Keating. Not that we want to rub salt into the Telegraph's wound, but this takes the cake. Now, tell us who wins the next Australian Idol.

On your Marx

IT'S not every day you can catch Karl Marx with his pants down in the People's Republic of Moreland. Not that his pants will be down or that Karl will make an appearance at Brunswick's Mechanics Institute Performing Arts Centre tonight when playwright Anitra Nelson presents Servant of the Revolution, the story of Marx's love-child with family maid Helene Demuth, known as Lenchen. Nelson made the discovery when researching her PhD on Marx's theory of money in 1989, saying: "No image is more symbolic than Marx's grave in Highgate Cemetery in London with his wife Jenny on one side and Lenchen on the other." Dr Nelson is such an authority on the man that she has written about his carbuncles, not that you'll see them because Marx does not appear on stage. The bearded one is referred to as "The Moor" because he was so dark. The skin disease was so irritating it made him boil.

Action at the station

THERE'S a dazzling array of eloquent orators walking the corridors of the ABC's Southbank headquarters. Where do we start? With 774 radio chatterboxes Red Symons, Jon Faine, Richard Stubbs, Lindy Burns, Derek Guille, the on-air guests and sartorially splendiferous TV news anchor Ian Henderson when the clock strikes seven. Australian National Car Parks seems to have dedicated the nearby Sturt Street lot to them because a sign at the entrance reads: "Welcome to the Strut Street Car Park." Incidentally, it doesn't cost eight cents a day, but $8 a day. No slouching in the presence of Aunty, please.

Cater for confusion

THOSE obscure job descriptions keep rolling in. Reader Barry Croft reports: "I once worked for a company that had an 'executive catering co-ordinator' - tea lady." To be fair, the co-ordinator has to make executive decisions about whether the trolley has scones or jam tarts. The obfuscation tally so far: "talent acquisition specialist" - recruitment officer; "relationship executive" - rental-property manager; and "director of first impressions" - receptionist. If the word obfuscation obfuscates you, the Oxford says it means to "obscure or confuse". The person who concocts these titles must be the Obfuscation

Co-ordinator.

Thirsty work

OUR eyewitness Rob reports with his hand on his heart: "Seen in Lygon Street in the am, police divvy van, stationary, with blue light flashing, in front of BWS liquor store. Two police emerge from BWS, each holding liquor." Let's not jump to conclusions here. The officers could have been seizing evidence to solve a crime.

Weight is over

THE motto of WeightWatchers is "satisfaction" and that's certainly the case with the inclusive nature of its weekly meetings in Richmond. A note on the website informs kilojoule-watching slimmers: "The Saturday 9am meeting is an under-35s meeting - please note this does not exclude anyone over 35! Any member is welcome to attend!" You have to agree that's satisfying for all age groups.

Double act

STATUESQUE Rachel Ward strolls the red carpet tonight at the Como cinema with Bryan Brown (below) as her leading man, a role he plays in their marriage and in the first film she directed, Beautiful Kate. Ward, who also wrote the flick, had to look no further than across the kitchen table to cast Brown, the archetypal Aussie, in a story set in the outback about a boy's relationship with his twin sister. Bryan, who plays dad, is so Aussie he should be bottled. It's a marriage made in cinematic heaven.

CONTACT

LAWRENCE MONEY

9601 2116

lmoney@theage.com.au

http://blogs.theage.com.au/moderntimes/

Fax: 9601 2327

SUZANNE CARBONE

9601 3192

scarbone@theage.com.au

http://blogs.theage.com.au/limelight/

Fax: 9601 2327