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MONASH University engineering students running Monash Motorsports aspire to become the "most respected Formula SAE team in the world" but they have lost the respect of female students over this photo of a busty woman flashing her legs. Reminiscent of a tacky calendar in a service station or mechanic's workshop, the team's Facebook page posted a photo of a model sitting atop a Monash-sponsored car, outraging female students who labelled it "sexist" and "disgusting". A female student complained: "It is hard enough to be taken seriously in an engineering course without this being an acceptable view of women." SAE stands for Society of Automotive Engineers and more than 50 students design, manufacture and race a prototype racing car. After the complaint, the photo vanished from Facebook but predictably crass comments had previously been left, such as: "Does she come with the car?" A spokeswoman for Monash said the university "condemns the use of the image" and the students would undergo training in equity and diversity. "We do not condone the objectification or disrespectful treatment of women. The Faculty of Engineering will also reconsider its support of the club." This may be news to the rev-headed students but the only chassis that matters in motor sport is the one belonging to a car.

The man who collects elephants

AFTER John Elliott was snubbed from the 25th anniversary celebration of the Carlton Football Club's 1987 premiership, you could say he's still on the nose since being ousted as president in 2002. Consider him the elephant in the room, or more specifically, the man with the elephant tie in the room. Elliott owns hundreds of elephant ties because it's his favourite animal and one meant to bring luck, but something went awry in his business life. The former Elders chief wrote in his blog with elephant logo, The John Elliott Report, that he has collected elephants of the miniature variety since 1967 and at one stage owned 600. In his other guise as art critic, Elliott admires an image of elephants in Hosier Lane but says a "negative" is their trunks pointing down because trunks pointing up are a sign of strength. As cartoonists know, Elliott's proboscis points down.

Stringing together salami festa

THE theft of 1.8 tonnes of pork from Auspork in Derrimut during salami season is the perfect entree into the inaugural Melbourne Salami Festa to find the tastiest product hanging in a cold suburban garage. The event's founder and director of the "Salami Board" (yes, this is serious business), Marco Finanzio, the owner of Umberto Espresso Bar in Thornbury, jokingly wonders if competitors resorted to crime to feed their salami addiction. "I didn't realise how desperate this competition was making people," Finanzio said. On September 16 at Florinian House in Thornbury, salami enthusiasts will present three kilos of cold cuts and vie for three awards: the Judges' Choice, the People's Choice and the Salami Suburb Award. "Remember, every slice could be a vote." Despite the pork heist reducing pork supplies during this crucial time, there's bound to be an abundance of "hot" salami hitting the streets.

Oldie and a goodie and a quickie

SEX. Now that showbiz impresario John-Michael Howson has your attention, he wants to get your mind off menopause and focus on his new production, More Sex Please . . . We're Seniors. Performers Michael Veitch, Tracy Harvey, Mark Mitchell and Jane Clifton play two couples in a retirement village who reflect on their lives, especially the sex part. Howson, who wrote the musical, said he was inspired by Menopause the Musical to focus on the golden oldies. "As I am now a golden oldie, I was inspired by many of my contemporaries and the fact that age has nothing to do with being old. It's just a state of mind." When the musical opens at the Comedy Theatre on October 31, oldies who present their senior's card will not be entitled to more sex.