Oh, Ricky you're so fine

IT'S entirely possible that Stephen Roberts has heard of David Brent of that painful BBC cringe comedy The Office, by Ricky Gervais.

This year the local branch office boss of Citi assured us that, despite the odd nip and tuck to staff numbers around the global empire, "If I look at what we're doing in terms of head count, we're increasing it we're investing in our businesses."

But after a modest 60 per cent share price fall last week and word that the bank is considering breaking itself up, we can't help but wonder if Roberts has experienced his very own Wernham-Hogg moment.

Perhaps he's familiar with the assurances that the local paper merchant boss, Brent, gave his troops that there would be no job cuts. And how Jennifer from head office went over the local man's head to announce job cuts.

Did we mention a local Citi flack confirmed "a small reduction in our workforce in Australia" after the razor went through the global operations last week?

Still, we're sure there's absolutely no truth to mutterings about heads rolling in the investment banking division.

After all, this year Roberts said he was particularly pleased with Chris Knoblanche's investment banking team.

Lucky for Knoblanche he knows a thing or two about fancy footwork, given his spot on the Australian Ballet board.

Time for a barbie

At the end of a long boom it's important to take stock.

Just look at John Prendiville, Macquarie's global head of resources banking.

He is taking time out from his role of defending Rio from the unwanted affections of BHP to tend to some consolidation on the home front.

In March he and his better half, Katherine, expanded their patch overlooking Balmoral Beach, which they bought 10 years ago for $1.4 million, by outlaying a further $2.7 million to buy the place next door.

Sure beats popping by to borrow a cup of sugar.

But it's important to add a personal touch, and so they're outlaying another $1.2 million to knock down the second house and drill for iron ore in the backyard.

Actually, no, they're combining the lots. A man needs a bigger garage, after all, and the current two-car model isn't big enough.

A chap also needs somewhere to put up a barbecue pavilion with a nice view over the harbour.

That's not all. Where the neighbour's house once stood, a free-standing library and "guest pavilion", aka granny flat, will spring up.

Prendiville hasn't had the full support of his neighbours. One 99-year-old had her son ask a few pertinent questions given that "detail and accuracy on DA drawings is not the strong point".

Unlike a MacBanker.

The local council is considering the plans.

Toronto spared

The former Uranium One boss Neal Froneman is something of an optimist. Either that or the South African reckons Australia is a clean slate on which to revive his fortunes.

How else to explain his decision for a reverse takeover of BMA Gold - a tiny digger released from administration last year - in order for his other company, Aflease Gold, to gain an ASX listing?

Froneman shocked punters in Toronto and Johannesburg by quitting Uranium One on the same day this year that it slashed its production forecast by a third.

Once a market darling, Uranium One - the owner of the Honeymoon project in South Australia - this month booked $US2.8 billion ($4.4 billion) in write-downs.

Now Froneman appears to think that by combining BMA and Aflease - and renaming it Gold One, in a curious tribute to his old uranium venture - he can go cap in hand to Australians and ask them to fund the Modder East gold project back home, which to date has faced production delays, cost blowouts and technical problems.

The Australian market seems "a little less affected" by the financial crisis than the North American market, Froneman said, in explanation for hitting our shores rather than hitching a plane back to Toronto.

"We don't think there is any chance of raising capital in North America."

We wonder if that's because in Toronto his reputation at Uranium One precedes him.

Rupert off the record

Selected thoughts of Rupert Murdoch as told to his mum's preferred newsletter:

On his life: "Someone tried to get me to write my autobiography. I started spending Saturday mornings with a tape recorder and I got so depressed I threw it out and sent the advance back to the publisher."

On buying Australian assets: "There is nothing I would be allowed to buy. The ACCC has very strange ideas."

On BlackBerrys: "I am ashamed to say I don't have one. My wife lives on hers. It irritates the hell out of me but it is useful. People who want to email me send it to her, so it has its uses."

On Lachlan missing out on Consolidated Media Holdings at $4.80: "He sounds like a lucky man."

On the black sheep's plans: "I'm sure he will be back one day."

Future sounds rosy

Notable name changes. Norma Jean Baker morphed into Marilyn Monroe. Anaconda dug its way to Minara. MFS sidestepped into Octaviar. Allco Equity Partners alters to Oceania Capital Partners Limited. So, will Centro become Sweet Frangipani Associates? (aka, Sweet FA). And might Babcock & Brown try Steaming Pile Investments?

Cane toads in court

Despite optimistic noises at the outset, speeches during the C7 appeal expanded to fill the time available - it used up the full three weeks set aside by a full bench of the Federal Court and finished just in time on Friday.

The three judges were bearing up well until the barrister Tim Castle rose just after 3.30 to deal with a separate issue, Telstra's claim that Seven pay all its costs, not just the portion awarded last year. Justice John Mansfield groaned when he saw a folder of reference papers Castle was about to hand up. Justice John Dowsett said the documents had "spread like cane toads". (He's from Brisbane.) Next stop, High Court?

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