KISS MY APP: P-app-arazzi

Is there a particular singer you like? Actor? Reality TV star? If there is, and you want to feel closer to them emotionally, you can buy their perfume, items from their fashion label, their diet pills...and now, their app! Here are three of Kiss My App's favourites, including The Hoff, Samuel L Jackson and today's winner, Chuck Norris.

Ask The Hoff Lite

Buy or sell? Hire or fire? Pay or delay? When it comes to serious business decisions, there's only one man you can trust – David Hasselhoff.

This app, available free from the iTunes store, essentially functions as a magic 8 ball – you ask a question, shake your phone and The Hoff will give you the answer you need. You get responses like "I've just consulted my fantastically handsome brain and the answer is... yes!".

So fear not, essential business decisions can be made with ease now that you have The Hoff on your side.

iSamJackson Lite

Samuel L Jackson arguably doesn't have the same cult status as The Hoff, but he's got some useful things to say... in this app.

Also available free from the iTunes store, iSamJackson gives you a range of phrases, like Hello and Goodbye, except they're all translated into Samuel L Jackson speak. So Hello turns into "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, welcome to the party!" While Shut Up turns into "This is an A and B conversation, C your way out of it".

Other features include a 'fingerprint scanner' that offers random abuse like: "Oh, man, I hope ugly ain't contagious", a magic 8 ball question responder and the money-maker – app add-on packs that cost $1.19 each and give you quotes from Sam for special occasions, like Valentines Day.

The paid version, which costs $1.19, includes profanities and explicit language. Kiss My App would never be so crude as to test that for your reading pleasure. Cough, cough.

Chuck Norris: Bring on The pain

If you had the chance to sit down, face-to-face with Chuck Norris, would it be so you could ask for guidance, like The Hoff? No. Of course you wouldn't. You'd ask him to kick someone's butt from here to Sunday, because that's what Chuck Norris does.

This Chuck Norris app is actually a game, called Bring On The Pain. It costs $1.19 and it's totally worth it.

It takes the piss out of itself mercilessly and gifts you with little nuggets about the brilliance of Chuck Norris, such as "Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares the down until he gets the information he wants”. Or what about "Chuck Norris has an unbeatable poker face, concealed beneath an even more unbeatable poker beard”. Or "Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because he's scared of the dark, but because the dark is scared of him."

Standing next to the managing director at the Christmas party and not sure what to say? These could come in very handy.

The game itself is also kinda fun, with three difficulty levels and you get to actually be...well...Chuck Norris. The man himself offers words of advice and encouragement. There are also features like being able to take photos of your friends make them the face of the enemy.

But really, it's the essence of Chuck Norris, boiled down into this classic app that makes it the best celebrity app on the market.

Why does Chuck Norris not believe in the periodic table? Because Chuck Norris only believes in the element of surprise.

If you have an application, for any device, that you'd like to suggest for review, please email us at kissmyapp@businessspectator.com.au . Also, be sure to check out Business Spectator's own free iPhone app at iTunes.

To read all Kiss My App reviews, click here.