Hatters and chatters

SURELY there has to be a feather shortage by now. A procession of 1500 perfumed princesses of plume and a flock of brave men filed into Crown yesterday for the 20th Oaks Club Lunch. A pertinent question in the midway mark of Cup week is: how do they do it?

After surviving the Derby day drenching, Cup eve festivities, Cup day breakfasts, Cup day trotting and chatting, burdened by the teasing sun then rain, these women recharge their batteries and plonk a feathered contraption on their head to hat-butt others at this warm-up for Oaks day.

Given tickets sell out in 10 minutes, there is no shortage of starters among pretty fillies and ladies of a certain age. Like Duracell bunnies charged by Eveready and Energizer batteries, they keep on going and going.

The Palladium was transformed into a "floral fantasy" wonderland. Todd McKenney jumped into the audience to kiss Rhonda Burchmore during Kiss Me, Honey, Honey, then performed Rio from the Boy from Oz. Quite a few ladies erupted with a heat rash when Peter Frampton serenaded them with Show Me the Way, with one fashionista tweeting "there go the knickers".

Melbourne Cup-winning jockey Gerald Mosse and partner Lisa Young were blown away by the finery. Mosse, a rarity among Frenchmen in not liking champagne, celebrated his win on Americain with the good American fizzy, Coca-Cola. The horse's part-owner Val Ryan, wife of Gerry, celebrated her 60th birthday with a Cup win.

Lady mayoress Emma Page Campbell sat with the "Lady of Flemington" during November, Paige Fitzroy, wife of Victoria Racing Club chairman Rod Fitzroy. Paige has a floral Dolce & Gabbana frock ready for today but hopes her hoarse (rhymes with horse) voice goes the distance. "I never stop talking," Paige said. "Rod will be thrilled at the end of the week because I won't be able to talk."

Brodie Harper exhibited her penchant for retro chic with a glomesh handbag she commandeered from her mother Andrea. On Derby day, Brodie wore a taffeta and velvet dress, also courtesy of Andrea being on-trend in the high-haired '80s.

The Victoria Racing Club brought out a trifecta of Brits as international ambassadors: designer Zandra Rhodes and milliners Freddie Fox and Stephen Jones. Rhodes carried her dog-shaped handbag containing a pink mobile phone to match her hair. Fox's Oaks day fashion tip for ladies is to avoid the streaky fake tan in favour of natural-coloured pantihose. "Australian girls have good legs and teeth, unlike the English," he said. Well, he has a point.

Jones travelled with 20 hats in a Louis Vuitton hat box, remarking "you can never have too many". Just ask Anna Mott from the Racing Fashion Australia website she owns 60 hats and they have their own hat room.

One of Jones's greatest devotees is the ever-resplendent Deborah Quinn, a fashion queen from Brisbane who owns a superb collection of his headpieces not that she counts them. "The hat is more important than the number," Quinn said.

Quinn came down for the races with husband John, the Brisbane-based executive director for surgical affairs at the Royal Australasian College of Surgeons in Melbourne. As a vascular surgeon, he also keeps an eye on sartorial stitching, owning a delightful vest with equestrian prints by Brisbane couturier Paul Hunt.

One of the blokes who lunched was Con Andronis, owner of Clamms Seafood and the Atlantic Group at the Docklands. Andronis said he was "scared" to be surrounded by so many women, then revealed he wanted to introduce a similar lunch at the Docklands because the event was so popular.

Myer will today welcome leggy Texan blonde Jerry Hall and daughter Georgia May Jagger to the Fashions on the Field finals. Hall had a fling with Robert Sangster when he was married to Susan, who's now Renouf. Given Susan will be track side, it's another possible "uh-oh" moment. Just like Kelly Osbourne attending Derby day along with Kris Smith, the partner of Dannii Minogue, who copped acidic insults from Kelly and mother Shazza.

Lavazza is hosting Carmen Electra, a babe whose CV boasts Baywatch as one of her acting achievements.

In addition to cameras snapping the lovelies, the Working Dog crew will have their cameras rolling for 25, their next movie about blokes who wanna have fun, starring Josh Lawson. Director Rob Sitch will capture "blokes' day" shenanigans, so it's over to the lads with blond tips, discount suits, novelty ties, service-station sunglasses and white scuffed shoes to do us proud for the big screen.

Crown and Grazia produced the Oaks day Ultimate Style Guide to assist those needing it. For blokes who aren't bespoke suit types, here's a quiz. Which of the following is considered appropriate attire a tutu, loud suit, pink rose in lapel or white shoes? It's a tough one but the answer is a pink rose.