BENIGN TO FIVE

Tweeting your way to work

A recent study of US recruiters found 91 per cent used social-networking sites to screen prospective candidates, while 69 per cent said they had rejected a candidate based on what he or she had tweeted or posted.

Here are some casual tweets that can transform you from an unemployable vulgarian into an unimpeachable human resource.

Can any tweeps recommend a trophy maker? Colleagues are giving me an award for proactiveness. I told them I'll buy the statuette. #leasticando

Can't sleepppppp. So doing some preparation for tomorrow's meet and greet with the new clients.

Working a 14-hour day!!! Yeeeewwww!!! Love it!!!!

Just found a way to reduce toilet breaks by 30 per cent!! Now need to find a way of reducing resultant increase in psssssing noise.

Sooooo boreddddd. LOL. Kidding. I never get bored coz when I finish one task, I simply move on to another, or help someone else finish theirs.

Boss is a real ball breaker ... which is totes justified — his job on the line if those below him don't reach KPIs. I love intense pressure!

Don't you love it when you get called in to work on a wknd? That's not rhetorical — I'm genuinely interested. I'd answer yes. AMAZEBALLS!

Prospective employers will love them and your followers won't notice your subtle strategic change in tweeting practice.

PS: Why do people on Twitter repeat the consonants in words to represent elongated vowels?