THE LAST GASP: Overweight and undermined

The Last Gasp is a wry take on the week's biggest stories, every week. This week, the government finds the MRRT cupboard bare, the political discourse mercifully returns to policy through MYEFO and AGL takes its bat, ball and solicitor hassling you at dinner time, and goes home.

I did not see that coming

By their most basic definition, the main point of taxes is to make money. Committed to its own unique style of innovation, data this week showed the federal government's flagship resources levy, the mineral resources rent tax, would add to the budget coffers in its first quarter of operation a grand total of absolutely bupkis. The news was a big blow for the government and contradicted media reports from earlier in the month that Rio Tinto and BHP Billiton would pay a token sum out of what one can only assume was pity. Never fear though, the ALP is perfectly Ok with the result. Treasurer Wayne Swan even claimed that, given the current poor state of commodity prices, he saw the disaster coming and that it was all part of the government's forecasts. You know, the ones so precariously placed that even the slightest economic zephyr could send them over the edge. It's all part of the plan.

Fat and Lazy went to town, riding on a China

It's news to no-one that the federal government and the Australian resources industry have not been the best of friends in recent times, save for the immediate aftermath of the times the sector has pushed for, and immediately received, changes to Labor policy. It had never quite reached the level of schoolyard insults though, which is what Resource Minister Martin Ferguson turned to this week when he suggested that the mining sector had become ‘fat and lazy' throughout the good times and had not managed its projects in the best possible manner. Ferguson later suggested the industry follow the lead of Australian parliament and make bold, strong decisions, stick to a focused idea and not let insignificant distractions sidetrack it from its goals.

My oh MYEFO

For anyone still knee deep in riveting articles about the ongoing sexism debate, frantically trying to take in as much commentary as possible before the next faux pas: there was some actual politics that occurred this week, as well. Most of it centred on the federal government's mid-year economic fiscal outlook, and the announcement that Labor had lowered its expectations for the much-feted 2013/14 surplus. The one already famously described in the past as a rounding error. Also part of the release was changes to company tax laws that have made industry players, including Woolworths and AGL, very angry. Woolworths boss Grant O'Brien was particularly outspoken, calling changes that will force companies to pay tax on a monthly basis, rather than quarterly, an unnecessary burden. On a roll, O'Brien also rubbished moves to increase regulation in the retail sector, saying less red tape would help keep prices lower for consumers. He later said extensive market research at his company had revealed shafting producers and manufacturers was the most effective way to keep prices down.

A real tragedy

AGL cracked it this week. Like a kid throwing a rattle out of a pram, the energy retailer said that if the Queensland and South Australian governments were going to push ahead with plans to change regulation laws around power prices, then it was going to pull all investment from SA and marketing from both states, including the removal of all advertising and door knockers. As if the last one was some kind of bad thing. And there would be lines of people standing outside their offices, pleading for them to change their mind, missing the constant attempts of strangers to sell them something they already own while they attempt to unwind and cook a meal.

And by that I mean

Still on AGL, a modicum of faith in humanity was restored this week when shareholders responded to rubbish from chief Michael Fraser about coal seam gas mining being in the best interests of New South Wales, delivered during his speech to the group's annual general meeting, with particularly insightful cries of ‘rubbish'. The statement echoes recent comments from Royal Dutch Shell executive Matthias Bichsel when he said that education, rather than technical innovation, was the key to ending the fracking controversy. So clearly, making their practices safer is not as important to these guys as convincing people that what they are doing already is really, truly safe.

Lucky break

In a victory for Gordon Merchant, and a seemingly bitter defeat for common sense, the Billabong founder has kept his seat on the board of the surfwear company despite a vocal push to see him turfed. Merchant came under heavy fire when, in rejecting a takeover offer from private equity group TPG earlier this year, he said the company would not accept any takeover offer for less than $4. Through a Frank Spencer-like series of events, the price of one share in the company now sits at around 85 cents. Merchant was re-elected with the support of 68 per cent of proxy voters, who are clearly the kind of stakeholders either rich or dumb enough to be Ok with that kind of performance.

Quick misses

– Mining entrepreneur Nathan Tinkler threatened to 'roll' the board of Whitehaven if the miner did not release an earnings upgrade. It's a fair comment from a man who is so open about his finances he is comfortable watching payment deadlines sale harmlessly by.

– Kevin Rudd has denied ghost writing Maxine McKew's new book in politics, noting he is terrified of both reading and ghosts.

– Clive Palmer reportedly spent the week hassling the coalition about the delicious new ‘books' dish Tony Abbot kept going on about.

– And finally, the local arm of a Chinese telecommunications company Huawei has urged Australia to better test the cyber security of it new technologies. Failing that, the group has offered to do so for it.