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Don't hedge your fashionista bets

First impressions. In a perfect world there'd be no such thing and we could all be judged on a well-considered, thoroughly-in-context third or fourth impression. But as anyone who's crossed the road to avoid a menacing 18th century pirate only to realise it's a genial hipster with nautical tattoos, a voluminous beard, a cutlass, a tricorne hat with a massive feather and a king parrot on her shoulder knows: the world isn't perfect.
By · 21 Sep 2013
By ·
21 Sep 2013
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First impressions. In a perfect world there'd be no such thing and we could all be judged on a well-considered, thoroughly-in-context third or fourth impression. But as anyone who's crossed the road to avoid a menacing 18th century pirate only to realise it's a genial hipster with nautical tattoos, a voluminous beard, a cutlass, a tricorne hat with a massive feather and a king parrot on her shoulder knows: the world isn't perfect.

I started a new job recently and was unclear about the expected office dress standard. First impression anxiety kicked in and I erred on the side of caution. I turned up on my first day in a tuxedo and tap shoes. I panicked just before getting out of the lift and removed my cummerbund, which might be considered showy.

It ended up being a jeans-and-T-shirt deal but I don't regret my choice; my miscalculation became a brilliant first-day ice-breaker (mainly because everyone under 35 had never seen brown velour before and wanted to touch it).

The moral of the story is avoid hedging your bets. If you're not sure about what to wear, either dress for the ballroom or nude up.

If you're not sure whether to shake hands with those you're introduced to on Morning One, either reject their hand or go the full Mark Latham.

If you can't for the life of you remember your boss's name, either take wild stabs like "Storm" and "Quincy" or remain totally silent until week eight.

When it comes to first impressions, don't mess with Mr In-Between. Unless he's wearing brown velour. Or a king parrot.
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Frequently Asked Questions about this Article…

The phrase is a playful metaphor in the article urging you to avoid indecisive, half-measured choices. The author’s tuxedo-on-day-one anecdote illustrates that being decisive — even if bold or slightly off — creates clearer signals than trying to split the difference, which can be awkward or forgettable.

The article highlights that first impressions stick: the author’s conspicuous tuxedo (and brown velour) became an ice-breaker. For investors, clear and confident initial cues — whether in dress, demeanour or conversation — can make introductions smoother and help you stand out in meetings or pitches.

According to the article’s advice, don’t hedge in-between — either dress up fully or keep things simple. The author suggests that a decisive choice (even a bold one) is better than a cautious compromise that sends mixed signals.

The article uses a humorous take: either decline a handshake or commit fully — "go the full Mark Latham." In other words, be intentional with your body language; half-hearted gestures can create awkward first impressions.

The article jokes that if you can’t remember your boss’s name, you can either make bold guesses like 'Storm' or 'Quincy' or stay quiet until you’re sure. The underlying tip: be decisive about how you handle the moment rather than offering a hedged, uncertain response.

Yes — the article’s anecdote shows a fashion miscalculation (the tuxedo and brown velour) becoming an effective ice-breaker. A memorable mistake can spark conversation and humanise you, so long as you own it with confidence and humour.

The article suggests that being clear and decisive is valuable in any first-impression situation, including presentations and pitches. Avoiding indecision helps your audience understand who you are and what you stand for, which can make your message more persuasive.

The author uses colourful anecdotes — a tuxedo, a king parrot and brown velour — to make a simple behavioural point memorable: decisive actions create stronger impressions than timid compromises. The humour helps everyday investors remember the practical takeaway about confidence and clarity.