THE LAST GASP: Lonely song from the Billabong

A-schmaltzing private equity, a-schmaltzing private equity, Billabong went a-schmaltzing and came up short.

The Last Gasp is a wry take on the week's news, every week.

Once some M&A bagmen camped outside Billabong
Under the shade of an imported pavement tree
And they sang as they watched and waited for the liquidators
You’ll come a schmaltzing private equity with me.

Schmaltzing private equity, schmaltzing private equity!
You’ll come a schmaltzing private equity with me,
And they sang as they watched and waited for the liquidators
You’ll come a schmaltzing private equity with me.

 .........

Down came a jumbo-firm to think about Billabong
Up jumped the bagmen, who were thinking about fees
And they sang as they shoved that due diligence in their Hermes bags
You'll come a schmaltzing private equity with me.

Schmaltzing private equity, schmaltzing private equity!
You’ll come a schmaltzing private equity with me,
And they sang as they shoved that due diligence in their Hermes bags
You'll come a schmaltzing private equity with me.

 .........

Up rode the company founders mounted on their high horses
Down came the shareholders – one two three
Whose that Yankee jumbo-firm you've got in your Hermes bag
You'll come a schmaltzing private equity with me.

Schmaltzing private equity, schmaltzing private equity!
You’ll come a schmaltzing private equity with me,
Whose that Yankee jumbo-firm you've got in your Hermes bag
You’ll come a schmaltzing private equity with me.

  .........

Up jumped the M&A bagmen and sprang away from Billabong
You'll never sell any boardshorts to me!
And their ghosts may be heard as you pass by Billabong
You'll come a schmaltzing private equity with me.

Schmaltzing private equity, schmaltzing private equity!
You’ll come a schmaltzing private equity with me.
And their ghosts may be heard as you pass by Billabong International Limited...
You'll come a schmaltzing private equity with me.

*Apologies to Banjo Paterson. Deepest, profoundest apologies.

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