THE LAST GASP: Lonely song from the Billabong
The Last Gasp is a wry take on the week's news, every week.
Once some M&A bagmen camped outside Billabong
Under the shade of an imported pavement tree
And they sang as they watched and waited for the liquidators
You’ll come a schmaltzing private equity with me.
Schmaltzing private equity, schmaltzing private equity!
You’ll come a schmaltzing private equity with me,
And they sang as they watched and waited for the liquidators
You’ll come a schmaltzing private equity with me.
.........
Down came a jumbo-firm to think about Billabong
Up jumped the bagmen, who were thinking about fees
And they sang as they shoved that due diligence in their Hermes bags
You'll come a schmaltzing private equity with me.
Schmaltzing private equity, schmaltzing private equity!
You’ll come a schmaltzing private equity with me,
And they sang as they shoved that due diligence in their Hermes bags
You'll come a schmaltzing private equity with me.
.........
Up rode the company founders mounted on their high horses
Down came the shareholders – one two three
Whose that Yankee jumbo-firm you've got in your Hermes bag
You'll come a schmaltzing private equity with me.
Schmaltzing private equity, schmaltzing private equity!
You’ll come a schmaltzing private equity with me,
Whose that Yankee jumbo-firm you've got in your Hermes bag
You’ll come a schmaltzing private equity with me.
.........
Up jumped the M&A bagmen and sprang away from Billabong
You'll never sell any boardshorts to me!
And their ghosts may be heard as you pass by Billabong
You'll come a schmaltzing private equity with me.
Schmaltzing private equity, schmaltzing private equity!
You’ll come a schmaltzing private equity with me.
And their ghosts may be heard as you pass by Billabong International Limited...
You'll come a schmaltzing private equity with me.
*Apologies to Banjo Paterson. Deepest, profoundest apologies.